The last post by The Banker
This will probably be the last blog post in this blog link, I’m not sure if I will start a new blog anytime soon but if I do, I’m sure by that time it will be a new me after a small transformation.
In another 6 months time, I will be graduating from poly and proceed on to National service. If I will to conclude my poly life in just one word to describe I will say “Banker”
Whenever the banker bet, it either he win a lot more or lose a lot more as compare to those players. I have gain a lot and I lost a lot as well, I used to thought of myself as person with great power of control in life, as a leader that no others can compare that filled me up with unbeatable confident. Wow! And I’m so glad to realize all this self acknowledge confidents have been totally destroy and re-mould again with something extra!
And when the banker lost, he lost to his own image, relationship, being flirtatious and leading no integrity of life. Whenever there’s someone better, instantly I thought I could get someone better, thinking how good it would be if my girlfriend can be like this girl, that girl and this girl. How good it would be if she’s like this, like that and like this. And instantly, I will want this girl, that girl and many more. Simply, I want to flirt with lots of girlfriend.
Just then when I lost everything, then I remember to ask myself “What good do I expect for myself? And what does she expect from me?” I’m simply destroying my own life, flooding myself with endless sin and joy from the devils, giving in to temptations which just happen in spilt second! My entire dream could just be blown away by giving in to devils!
After all the downward of life for a good few months, my mentors give their hands to me that pull me up and train me in every area and challenge me. Finally I’m awake! Area of life did improve and one left untouched.
I still prefer to play around, flirt around and I told her I’m sorry that I couldn’t change. I have read books on practicing right values on relationship, watch lots of enrichment video, everyday I’m washing my brain off! And I come to sense realizing something. The real struggle comes when right value and skills are being put to practice. Yes! I’m practicing! And it also a torture when emotions and thoughts clashes, being indecisive of what decision to make.
I’m just so close to made it! Though I’m still struggling, but I know I can become pure again because my dream is just so worthwhile and big to lose to the devil and giving in to temptation, which I can’t afford to. Just a little more time and I will be able to cross the winning line. Wait for me.
If I’m ever going to open a new blog again, that would be the time when I’m at a new stage of life that has already brought me to a higher height. Thank you for all this ups and downs, all this lesson learnt would be much better than hunting for treasure.
Sign off.
Yee Cheng
Finally...
Happen to have a chance to share with my friend what kind of life I want to have, in fact, I have share with a lot others as well but it alot more detail this time.
Today, just right before I went out with Donald, I had a small argument with my mum telling her that I didn’t have interest in my religion anymore or it just that I didn’t have the heart to commit myself. I found myself to be very self centre, caring what I want to be and to have. I deny myself to be wrong.
My mum said that my dad career may be on edge of danger and I’m not concern about it at all, he have been working in this line for nearly 20 years and now the boss are like pressing a lot on him, as if it a sign of chasing him away by putting pressure on him. What is giving concern?
Doing the best out of it, strive for my future, giving no worry to my parent. That the kind of concern I’m giving. My family style of communicating is very much of the old tradition type; we care in heart but not on mouth. Seeing him so wear out at the end of the day as well as my mum, growing white hair, I know in my heart that only I can bring them out for a good life, together with my brother. Maybe I’m putting too much focus on this, eventually, I care and commit lesser to my religion and now it ain’t my priority anymore.
I told this friend of mine that a complete life to me is when I can enjoy financial freedom, a house of my own desire design, a lovely wife and with lovely children. Going holiday 3 times a year, driving my favorite car, enjoying foods all around, weekday are happy hour with colleague, Friday are husband and wife dating, Saturday are play with children day and Sunday will be family day.
Most of my friends said to me this “dream on dude!”
So I was asking them that didn’t they hope their life to be like this? and their replied is that they don’t dare and willing to have their future dream to be that beautiful because it not being practical at all. OH! So the fact that they don’t dare to dream and not because it can’t be realize.
Why scare to dream big and beautiful when you feel like it? Why should your dream be tie down by life reality? Why don’t you try to picture your dream life and put it to work?
I dream beautifully and I won’t shut my dream off because of how bad my friends told me off, because by that time, even if your real life ain’t totally what i dream of, at least, I’m near to it. At least I live the way I feel about it. SO! If you don’t dream, then you WON’T even be near of it and you live just like anybody else out there.
I’m a guy that live without worry, I don’t worry that I won’t be happy because I live the best out of it, if one day I’m going to stop living like this, that the day I die. And most probably the last sentence I’m going to say is I have never regret living like this.
A dream is the start of the platform to life reality. A man with no dream is very much like a dead man.
遗失的快乐
感觉好像好久好久都没打从心底快乐起来，突然有这样的想法。
长时间以来，我都只顾着自己的“成长”而忘了心灵上的需要。
说实在的，其实我只是在隐藏着自己心灵所需而以。
“自我”的感觉真的好累喔，有 “道”多好。。。
老母啊，请你“去我罪恶与业账，换我私心回本来”。
人世间啊，你真的让我淘醉又痛苦。
Adult fall down
Kid fall down
