Capture;

Thursday, September 27, 2007

many many meee ; 1:21 AM

多面的我

今天我好开心！有位可说是 “失散”的同学由于通过网上日记又再向遇，谈了一下，发现她有些华人的传统思想，非常的好！再来就是她对我的观点有所改变，让我更开心。因为还是同学时，我们可说是不常碰面，所以只有第一个应像。她说她对我的应像是 “好玩，搞笑，跟一般人一样”，但读了我的网上日记又另有改观了，那个她就是秀敏，就让我来谈谈这多面的我吧！

不管是在学校，在外头或在宗教里，我的行为大有不同，有如天和地一样的差别。在外头的我都是好玩，搞笑，不认真和玩得很风的，所以大部分的人都视我为好玩的男人，这是我的第一面。在宗教里的我则是何谐，好学，多思想的人，这是我的第二面。但我一个人时，我又是宁静，思维的奔驰，与天合一的人，这是我的第三面。到地那一个是真的我？找不到一个一定。

我又为何多面？不管我多么不喜欢这世间的丑陋，只要是还活这的人都一定要融入到这世界去。而我融入到这世界去的为一原因是要多救那被 “迷惑”的众生，这是我的责任。跟深刻的来说，世界是一间训练场所能让我们尝尽人生之四味 “酸，甜，苦，辣”但然甜味可说是少之又少。而人来到世界是学习生命之理，但却走失了方向就在也走不回来了。因为在天上是没有痛苦的，只有快乐，逍摇和自在，所以在世间才能体会生命的一切而了解生命的真谛才知生命来的不易，应当珍惜！

人因迷惑是因为失去了传统，失去了文化而现有的世间色彩都是 “人工”的，而失去源有的自然。就好像吃食物一样，一定要加调味料，但这样一来就吃不到自然源有的味道。而 21 代的世界就好比快熟面，方便又好吃但吃到的都是味精，那来的营养？吃多可是会死人的啊！

我虽外在好玩，颠风但内心非常的宁静而什么都不求，当心无所求时，一切都变得真实，看的东西也很清楚，了了分明！当动时也就是多做善事，当静时也就是回光反照。动与静，清楚的很。

如要找出我的话，我便会这样形容“真真假假，假假真真，一假一真，一真一假，看真不真，看假不假，是真是假，是假是真”要如何定下决论，有你而定吧。。。。

Tips for the day= 人可多面，心不可多面，心若多面便失根本。心要自在，而真理要稳如泰山。

Saturday, September 22, 2007

maybe ; 2:51 PM

大概就是这种感觉。。。。。。。

我不知道是好还是不好

Thursday, September 20, 2007

I'm sorry ; 2:12 PM

I'm sorry

I never like exam but still it everyone in the whole world are going to face it, not just me.

Yes, all my classmate knew i'm the king of king who sleep in class like no body else.

Actually, i have already plan out my time table to study..what they see is just the slacking side of me.

I'm move, I'm touched, I appreaciate for those who scold me, commented me...I feel the care from those friends..I love them, espcially one person...hope you won't give up on me or else i will really cry out de..

I really and I'm studying la...really..those prelim result, i know i fail like siao..but this won't happen on my O..

Thank you! to that special person..this post is for you and the rest of friends who care for me..

I love you alll...

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

facing death ; 8:58 PM

死亡

在两天前，刚接到通知说有一位朋友的老爸过世了，享年 51 岁。当我接到通知时我真为那朋友感到难过，数分钟后我一点感觉也没有了。我又是如何看待死亡的呢？

以世界人民整体来说，由其是青少年和工做人士，他们都是过着 “无死”的生活而完全忘了死亡的存在。现代人的生活的定义也远远地超出生活源本的基本需求，开始为了名义，物质享受而忙碌蹦跛。把一生的命花在工做上，名义和物质都有了但也快死了，享受到的时间还比不上工做的时间，却忙了大半生，那又何必呢？

这几天惠珊因朋友父亲的过世而开始感叹生命的脆弱，我还真为她的感叹感到开心，因为至少她会对家人有更多的爱护！回到我这来说，我父亲在很多年以前就因睡觉而喘不过气差点死掉或做梦有人要 “带他走”。我都因为他这样而感到害怕，但就在昨天父亲因工做时而感到不舒服便拨电给母亲，母亲还以为父亲出事便大喊起来。正在睡觉的我听到了，也感到害怕但还继续的躺在床上不起，其实我是在做心理准备。也不知为什么我从小便不因为听到别人的死忘而感到惊讶和伤心，记得外公死时，全家人都哭到 “不清不楚”但我一个人从外公死的那一天直到火化那一天只流过一滴泪，而这一滴泪还是逼自己流的因为看到表哥表弟都哭了，我不哭的话看起来我很不孝。在说明白一些，我对死亡的感觉就只有麻木。。。。

人死后根本不是一个终点而是一个开始，真正的人生是学习如何 “做人”，酸，甜，苦，辣，道德，真理和善恶之分。人来到这世界就被它的色彩迷住而忘了做人的根本，正所为人之初，性本善啊。。

我见人死为何不流泪，为何不害怕呢？人因世界的色彩而被迷惑，忘了根本，忘了本来，更忘了善行。心无善念，体无善行，而只追求立己的享受。那这样的人死了又何必为他掉泪呢？但人因见世间冲满痛苦，而发觉生命的意义，便寻找生命之本。那也就说这人在学习如何回归婴儿的良心 “人之初，性本善”，婴儿天生就是善良，无邪念的啊。这善心人行善无穷，不求回报，那这人死了又有何遗憾？若无遗憾，那又何必掉泪呢？

生存和死亡之间只是一线之差，即然只是一线之差那又何必执著呢？生存时要好好的学习，那死后的生命才可享受啊。。。

Tips for the day

= 我未生前，谁生我？我生之时我是谁？
= who born me before I was born? who am i after i was born ?
尽请深思！

Sunday, September 16, 2007

小丑的心声 ; 9:09 PM

小丑的心声

我很少有机会看见小丑，可在电视节目就多了。眼看围绕在小丑身边的小孩脸上一个个都带这连嘴都关不起来的欢笑。如果我能打扮成小丑的话，我也希望围绕在我身边的小孩都能很开心的一起玩耍。

大多的人心中有做小丑的一个心德吧，都很希望他们身边的人都开开心心的度过每一天。小丑的快乐来自他人的快乐，就算身边的人伤心了，小丑还是不断的努力的逗他们开心。小丑从不害怕自己丑，就为他人的欢笑，如果有伤心的人说“如果你比现在更丑，我才会开心”那小丑一定愿意把自己打扮的更丑的。

小丑是否有伤心的时侯呢？我想会有的吧？哪又有谁会逗小丑开心呢？我想小丑也最想要有另一位小丑逗他开心的吧。快乐不需要代价，更不需要金钱的满足，而需要一分能消灭烦脑的笑点。这也就是小丑的其中原则，但很多人都认为快乐就是要有钱，却不晓得对着大海呐喊也能消除心中的不悦，冷冰冰的雪糕冷缺心中的偾怒，几粒气球能让甜密回味无比，扮几张鬼脸能换回几声欢笑。

要是能让他人开心的话，就算我得做小丑那我也愿意。。。小丑的心声又有谁明白？

Tips for the day= 快乐不在与金钱，它在与放的开。快乐不在与享受，它在与体会。快乐不在与拥有，它在与付出。

Friday, September 14, 2007

She's feeeling soo weak ; 1:10 PM

This photo describe the girl I'm talking for this post. She got a strong mind but a weak body.........

好辛苦啊！She's feeling so weak!

Today while I was taking my physic exam in class, there is this girl from Sec4 NA class pass by our class corridor and she keep dragging her feet along the way, because she was dragging her feet so there is this disturbing noise “shhaa shhhaa shhaa”. So most of my classmate turn and look at her, finding it irritating, minutes later she walk pass again with the same noise “shhha shha shhhaa” so Mdm Yee walk out of the class and ask her not to drag because she is disturbing the class from having exam.

Although I was having exam and should concentrate on it yet I couldn’t concentrate but keep looking at her. She was holding on to the corridor hand bar, she was taking her step very slowly with her pale face. Looking weak and helpless, I look at her with great sympathy. Suddenly she had a very slight fall and I thought she’s going to faint, I had a slight jerk within my seat, going to stand out to help her but I was having my exam at that moment. She stands still, balancing herself and started walking again.

She took minutes to walk finish the corridor! Upon finishing, the Science HOD walks pass and ask is she ok? She nods her head together with her weak smile and that HOD carry on walking. I was thinking why both Mdm Yee and that HOD didn’t help her? I was puzzle, she then disappear from my eyes sight. I took back to my exam paper but my mind keep recalling the scene of that weak girl. As I’m sitting by the window side, so after 10min after that girl walked pass the class corridor and I turn my head back, looking out of the window, I saw that girl still walking slowly at that study area. “My goodness! She’s still walking down there” Then follow by Mr Lim, another HOD, walk up from the stair case. He saw her walking weakly, and then he looks back at her thinking if she’s okay. Obviously she’s not okay right??!! But Mr Lim walked away. I was so angry.

Is this how we should react when seeing people like them? What’s more? This is a school and in total there are 3 teachers who saw her like this, so weak, yet none of them help her and there is 2 HOD! What a good example huh! Yes, there is concern for her but just concerning will help her? At least help her to the place she’s going and I don’t what the classmate for, just leave her alone walking pathetically?!

Where has the friendly act gone to? I see it with despair, full of disappointment.

Tips for the day= Building of foundation is the roots to all prosperity for the future enjoyment!

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

The Elderly ; 3:53 PM

The Elderly

Holiday is really a bored one. Nevertheless I still learn some lesson about life even though I’m just staying at home and not taking a step out of house for 4 days! Yesterday (Wednesday) and today I learn a big lesson about giving love to the elderly.

I watched a channel U programmed, showing three little kids together with their mum doing volunteer service at many different old folk homes and even distribute biscuits to elderly under the void deck. They perform, they play, they chat with the elderly at their very young age, and the eldest child is only at his primary school level.

The reporter asks them “are you scare of seeing the elderly with no leg and hand?”

The kids say “no, we are not scare instead we feel very sorry because they can’t do anything without their leg and hand”

The reporter asks their mum “what is the deepest memory you have doing this volunteering services?”

She replied “I remember asking my kids what they want for their birthday presents and they said they wanted biscuits and drinks for their presents. I asked them why and they said that because they want to give all this biscuits and drinks to the elderly, seeing the elderly smile and happy is their presents for in return.”

My tears drop upon hearing what she said, how I wish my future kids grow up like them. Full of love and passion for the elderly, human are born kind in nature but now look at the society, especially the youngster. We should discipline and learn how to love people out there.

I remember when I was young, there was a new neighbor moving in with their old parent in their 70s age. After moving in for 3 days, the old couple came knocking at one of my neighbor door, an uncle, saying that their children lock them outside and don’t want to let them in. Their children even put their clothing outside the door and chase them away. The uncle is so angry and went knocking their door and had a big quarrel. What is this world!??!!

Today afternoon, I had a great chat with my grandma over the phone. I think this is one of the longest times ever I talked over the phone in this years besides chatting with HZ. I realize that chatting with elderly is indeed a fun one, let ago the topic we chat because youngster and elderly chatting topic is different but any way my grandma talk like a kid, cute and happy. I was so worry about her health and illness, my heart had a sudden sour that nearly make me tears again. I love her so much, instead I felt the responsibility upon this world that I really need to do something.

Tips for the day: Taking care of elderly is not a burden, it is a gift. Without them, there will be no us, please don’t take them as a trouble but a love instead.

Saturday, September 8, 2007

My one and only HIM ; 5:26 PM

The ultimate photo. cute!!! my bro in girl dress. really like girl la.

My bro smile nicer then i do. Am i smiling or going to cry soon?

A photo taken in prayer hall ! for 17 years..

ME, my pretty mum and Bro, walao..he got innocent pair of eyes

My bro and me. Among so many photo, my bro still look the best

Me and my bro, we grow up le!!!

My cute bro, grow up not cute le but handsome huh!

My one and only HIM

OK! My darling bro have been complaining that I didn’t post about him for days. So I’m going to spend some time talking about him then and here I go…

My brother had been rather discipline on his own every since young, but when he got into secondary school he change. I think it due to the kind of friends he makes in school but still he is friendly in his natural character.

In the past his is…….
= Lovely
= Caring
= Generous
= Good temper
= Smart
= Golden heart
= Good patient
= Very good hand skill (in art)

For the present he is….
= Generous
= Smart
= Very good hand skill (in art)
= Hilarious
= Low self esteem
= Not as patient,
= Not as caring and lovely
= Where have the golden heart gone to?

Hey people, see how great he is in the past? But he change so much, after all he is not that bad la. It like every teenager will go through a stage of stubbornness right? What they need is someone to bring them back to the right track and everything will go smooth again. I know it not easy because I have been trying; still I’m not able to do it. The one I’m most worry about him is his low self esteem, he have been like this ever since secondary 2 or 3 onwards. He lost confident in himself whether in his studies, appearance, his own character, I think that all. He is a person who didn’t like to voice out his own problems but keep it to himself and the problems keep stirring wild in his brain and soul that make him like this. Come on bro, can’t you tell me your problem? I seriously can help you out of it. I have been solving some of your problems right? Voice out!

My brother has a unique character. He care a lot for other people, he is very loyalty to his friends, he is straight minded (not a very good thing) because when he start quarreling with someone he will really burst into fire and don’t care what the outcome is. In his heart he is really still as caring, loving and with concern for the family member. I will never judge wrongly about him.

My main motive for posting this is to give advise, concern, care and straight forward shooting about him because I feel that this cannot be carry on any further other wise it may affect his life and future severely.

The very first thing that concerns him most now is his low self esteem (自悲), if he really take a good notice carefully actually there is a lot of people giving him concern and help in his character and studies. People like Rong Sheng, Zheng Nong, Andy, Mummy and me. Yes! I agree that maybe some of our concerning and help may not be acceptable by yeeting but as a Xiu Dao Ren whom listening to lesson （道义）for so long, we know that for when we fall, we have to stand up on our own, some more people around you have already stretch out their hand to pull you up, but are you willing to stand up? ARE YOU TAKING THEIR ADVICE? This is important. If you yourself say no in the first place, even God send you their power there is no use at all. Hey darling, the only way to build up your self confident is to say yes to yourself first. I will be there for you.

Your self discipline, golden heart, caring, patient, moral value can be found through putting in one action. Come to youth group （青少年班）. I have been repeating myself for so many times that youth group is not just about study and tuition; there is a lot more then that. Yes, I can describe everything like heavenly place but still you have to feel it yourself, only when the truth touches your heart then you will realize how true it is. My darling, if I ever teach you the wrong thing, you can choose not to call me brother. I’m serious, in nature, you are good and even better then me. For all I am now is all effort putting in, you too also know that I always have to work doubly hard to gain something but you are different, you know that too.

You keep saying that you got an ITE face, thinking back how much effort you have put into your study? You are naturally smart, even smarter then me, if you were to go ITE; I am the first to go instead. There is no dead end to study, so what even you go into ITE? I will still praise you that you can carry on studying because the main point is you didn’t stop learning!

There is a local Real Estate agent, she only has an O level certificate but yet she earns 1200 billion a year!

Local celebrity hair stylist, David Gan, is famous throughout celebrity world. He doesn’t only work in S’pore it self but to different country to style celebrity hair, not just this. He is even specially appointed by famous actor and actress to cut and style their hair, actress like Zhang Zhi Yi. What’s cool? David Gan graduate in local ITE!

My darling, like what I said before, you are born with some natural hand skill talent. I always say this, you will success one day but you choose not to believe me. Different people are born with different natural ability and different schools in Singapore are open to suit different people with different skills. As long as you are learning, you are not in dead end! When the day you succeed, never forget LaoMu that gift you such special talent, even now! Start to Liaoyuan and learn the meaning of life. Stand up my loving bro and don’t forget why we come to the earth for, it for the “Dao” and jiu du zhong shen. Remember this clearly!

Tips for the day= You live to learn, you learn to live. As long as you didn’t stop learning, you are not facing a dead end. You face it when you choose to stop learning. You only stop learning when dead and you start living comfortably in other dimension of the world call Heaven.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

It doesn’t seem that beautiful after all ; 8:42 PM

It doesn’t seem that beautiful after all

People say love is like a bed of roses, but they kill themselves when out of love.

People say love is about sacrifices, but they make use of their lover.

People say love is joy, but they cried till blind.

People say love is everything, but they got nothing.

People say love is eternity, but they gone suicide and really got eternity in another dimension.

People say love is sweet, but does quarrel seem to be sweet or more on bitter?

People say love won’t change for one, but they seem to change faster then changing clothing.

People say love is about accepting one another, but when they quarrel all nonsense about past came out.

People say love is crazy and wild in the start, indeed they went crazy and wild when breaking up.

People say love is strongest when there is chemistry feeling, after all it doesn’t seem to have any reaction.

So does love seem to be great, beautiful and wonderful after all? Does love still have a positive stand in other people “definition”? It really worth thinking about, why does it have so many negative phrases about it but everyone is willing to die for it when they know this is the ending?

So does me, going for it but not so daring after all. I am reserving myself, worry if I will be hurt once again, I seriously have some sort of phobia. Can anyone please help me out of it? I promise to try my very best to be free from this stupid phobia and open my hand to accept ……..happily and seriously.

My thought are running on and on and on……….