Whenever the banker bet, it either he win a lot more or lose a lot more as compare to those players. I have gain a lot and I lost a lot as well, I used to thought of myself as person with great power of control in life, as a leader that no others can compare that filled me up with unbeatable confident. Wow! And I’m so glad to realize all this self acknowledge confidents have been totally destroy and re-mould again with something extra!

And when the banker lost, he lost to his own image, relationship, being flirtatious and leading no integrity of life. Whenever there’s someone better, instantly I thought I could get someone better, thinking how good it would be if my girlfriend can be like this girl, that girl and this girl. How good it would be if she’s like this, like that and like this. And instantly, I will want this girl, that girl and many more. Simply, I want to flirt with lots of girlfriend.

Just then when I lost everything, then I remember to ask myself “What good do I expect for myself? And what does she expect from me?” I’m simply destroying my own life, flooding myself with endless sin and joy from the devils, giving in to temptations which just happen in spilt second! My entire dream could just be blown away by giving in to devils!

After all the downward of life for a good few months, my mentors give their hands to me that pull me up and train me in every area and challenge me. Finally I’m awake! Area of life did improve and one left untouched.

I still prefer to play around, flirt around and I told her I’m sorry that I couldn’t change. I have read books on practicing right values on relationship, watch lots of enrichment video, everyday I’m washing my brain off! And I come to sense realizing something. The real struggle comes when right value and skills are being put to practice. Yes! I’m practicing! And it also a torture when emotions and thoughts clashes, being indecisive of what decision to make.